Length Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

Cos' sin tans

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

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Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway?

Sub humans.

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why I love duct tape?

It can turn "No, no no!" into "mmph, mmmph, mmmph"

Why is DJ Khaled so good at music?

He loves major keys.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

What did the shirt say to the pants zipper?

Your so fly man

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you think Jesus' favorite gun would be?

A nail gun

Why did Jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did the scientist take off his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win the "Nobel" prize!

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Exaggerate Jokes More Exaggerate Jokes

What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind?

That people exaggerate.

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice