Length Jokes

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

Cos' sin tans

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

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Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

One has a d where the other doesn't.

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What does an octopus wear on a cold day?

A coat of arms!

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call a stay-at-home parent?

Unemployed.

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss?

Jesus!

Why did Jesus run off the airplane?

He didn't like the Pilate

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?

Shoes wisely