Who won the race between two balls of string?

They we're tied!

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

What did Charlie Sheen say when he won the Tour de France?

Schwinning!

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Why do dogs lick their balls?

Because they can.

Why was Cinderalla thrown out of the football team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What do you call a race run by baristas?

A **decaf**alon

Why can't mites race in NASCAR?

Because mites make rights, not lefts.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

String Jokes More String Jokes

Why do programmers like to concatenate time stamps?

It's the only way they can get a string of dates.

Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

Because he "pulled a few strings"!