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Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

How can the eurologist tell if he is looking at a man or woman?

Well, there is a vast difference.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call... A cow with one leg?

Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs Your mom

What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?

Rastafriedrice

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How many SEC football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1. And they get 3 credits for it.

What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Mommy Jokes More Mommy Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Phyllis with a Christine?

A Philistine with two mommies...

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's