Makeup Jokes

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

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How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Stink Jokes More Stink Jokes

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?

Because he had a stinking cold!

Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?

You know you need a psychiatrist!

America Jokes More America Jokes

What are they called in America?

Americans.

Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America?

Because Freedom Rings.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall?

Ulta Magnus!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call Kurt Russel playing an archaeologist?

Kurt Fossil

Why couldn't the computer play golf?

Because it had the wrong Driver

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why is stormtrooper always late from work?

He keeps missing his train

What kind of pants does Mario wear to work?

Denim denim denim p

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman with six kids?

Lucy

Why is it better to date a woman with heavy thighs during the winter?

Your ears stay warmer.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings?

He went to Jared.