Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

9/11

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

Autobot Jokes More Autobot Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall?

Ulta Magnus!

What did the autobots call Optimus Prime after he died?

Posthumous Prime

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is the difference between a woman and a forklift?

There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Mommy Jokes More Mommy Jokes

What did the baby light bulb say to it's mommy?

I wuv you watts and watts!

Why does Mommy always say no?

Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why wasn't Jesus born in Washington DC?

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin

What do you do with a Rhinoceros with 3 balls?

You walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee?

I feel positively charged!

What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Who will be rescued?

America.

Why does the Mexican Olympic team always do so badly?

Because anyone who can swim, run, or climb is already in America.

Stink Jokes More Stink Jokes

Why do most movie sequels stink?

Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2.

What does a rock put on when it stinks?

Geodorant.