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Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you get herpes of the eye ball?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

How does Rhianna look after a date with Chris Brown?

White and gold.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.

What's the worst thing about owning a console?

Memories of your dad leaving you are in 30fps

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call your mom who used to be your dad?

A transparent ()

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How are tigers like sergeants in the army?

They both wear stripes!

What do older women wear?

Depends

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand.

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.