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Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What was the lonely chemist looking for?

AgF

How can you tell if a Redditor is an extrovert?

During any conversation he's looking at YOUR shoes.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between awkward and awful?

Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her

What's similar between you mom and a bottle of Tide detergent?

They can both take about 65 loads.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.