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Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Because he wants tequila. Literally.

Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team?

Because then Dallas would want one too.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?

On a blind date

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's a blind mans worst fear?

A prius

What does a man with one leg wear to the beach?

Flop.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Who's singing this?

Me: "Franz Ferdinand." 7yo: "But, he died in 1914." Me:

Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're really nice people.