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Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?

To stop it from falling out.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why are you just telling me now?

He said, Because I couldn't stop laughing.

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

Some traffic signs say stop.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the monkey fall of the tree?

Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? Why did the third monkey fall of the tree? Peer pressure.

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

Why did the witch go commando?

She needed some better grip on her broomstick.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

What do you call spaghetti that carries a fake ID?

An impasta!

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What does a Seal drink at a bar?

Anything but Canadian Club..

What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?

An electron