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Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?

To stop it from falling out.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away it's credit cards!

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do conspiracy nuts do to fall asleep?

They count sheeple.

Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet?

I need to know before my court date on Monday.

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?

Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. "If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p

Why does a mother carry her baby?

The baby can't carry the mother.

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

What do you get when you cross a seal and a polar bear?

A polar bear.