Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?

To stop it from falling out.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the doctor go the furniture store?

Because he needed a stool sample.

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on?

Because they carry guns instead

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

Why is the North Pole of a magnet red?

Because they don't have seals on the South Pole Takes a while to get, but it's worth it in the end.