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Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

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Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What is similar between gas and water?

Not much, but in Flint they are both regular and unleaded

What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

Why are fire trucks red?

You would be too if someone was pulling on your hose all day.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons?

Hose A and Hose B

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.