Friendzone Jokes

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange... Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Spike Jokes More Spike Jokes

Why was the Narwhal kicked off the volleyball team?

He was always spiking the ball.

What happens when you spike Hawaiian Punch?

It gets a lil' kick.

Endzone Jokes More Endzone Jokes

How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?

Paint an endzone on it.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you do if hou are cold?

If you ever get cold, stand in a corner for a bit. They are usually 90 degrees.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray.

G Jokes More G Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

X-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Friendship Jokes More Friendship Jokes

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.

What do you call friendship between punctuation?

Commaraderie

B Jokes More B Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!