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New Zealand Jokes

How do men in New Zealand address their women?

Hey! Ewe!

Love

Love

What do you call a shorn sheep in a New Zealand bar?

A skimpy.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

What would New Zealand be called if it had a fascist government?

Not Zealand.

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand?

A community centre

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

They saw what happened to the sheep

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Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why are Australians so well balanced?

They have a chip on both shoulders.

Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?

Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound did they make?

Bum-bum tssh!

What is loud and sounds like "apple"?

Scream) APPLE!!!

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

New Zealander Jokes More New Zealander Jokes

Crystal Ball Jokes More Crystal Ball Jokes

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Where do psychics go to dance?

The crystal ball

New Zealanders Jokes More New Zealanders Jokes

Why do New Zealanders have so many furry conventions?

Because they're kiwis.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep?

A WOOLY JUMPER

How do you milk sheep?

With iPhone accessories.