Prison Guard Jokes

Why do prison guards use Proactive all the time?

So they can prevent breakouts.

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Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

What did the cat say to the prison guard?

Let MEOOWWWWTTTT!!!!

Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How do cats let us know that they are in pain?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

What is the difference between a garbanzo beans and a chickpea?

I would never let a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Mexicans do you need to change a Lightbulb?

Juan.

How many bitter Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, we've decided to let a man do the job.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do Russians use to censor websites?

The Inter-nyet.

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many software developers does it take to fix a light bulb?

None, its a hardware issue.

How many servers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, it's not my side work.

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!

Why does government matter?

It doesn't.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince"

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know the fastest runners are all doping?

They're always rushin.

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.