Red Eye Jokes

What do you call a mooner on the last overnight flight?

A red-eye

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Why did the Fonz have red eyes?

Because he had fever!

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Fonz Jokes More Fonz Jokes

Who is the Fonz's favorite baseball team?

A'szzzz

What is "The Fonz's" favorite breakfast?

Eeeeeeeeeeggs

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium!

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

Singe Jokes More Singe Jokes

What is the difference between a tire and a black man?

The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it.

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

What do you call a baby in a concentration camp?

Baby Powder.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C.

Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the leper colony?

Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?

Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

Taylor Swift Jokes More Taylor Swift Jokes

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

Why are your eyes red?

Are you high! flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over me: Yes

Fever Jokes More Fever Jokes

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue