Workout Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

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What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

What's white and gives you a solid 9+ inches that gives you a workout every time?

Snow Storms

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents.

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T Rex Jokes More T Rex Jokes

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

Why did the t-rex cross the road?

Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What, How is that possible!?

Vader: I felt your presents. Luke: NOOOOOOO

What emotion does a tree feel every spring?

Relief

Crossfit Jokes More Crossfit Jokes

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

What's the hardest part about winning crossfit?

Being 5 foot 6

Pilate Jokes More Pilate Jokes

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

What's a pirate's favorite workout program?

Pirates (pronounced like pilates)

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore?

Am I supposed to pick my favorite

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do a loading bar and my girlfriend have in common?

Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.

What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend?

His smellular phone!

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors?

Scissor me timbers!

France Jokes More France Jokes

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?

Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance