How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

Why did Bill Gates get sick?

Because he left the Windows open.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What is Michael Bay's favorite phone?

Note 7

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Crotch Jokes More Crotch Jokes

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

How do crabs leave the hospital?

On crotches...

Lindsay Lohan Jokes More Lindsay Lohan Jokes

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire