How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

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What does an illustrator say to his girlfriend on Valentine?

I'm font of you.

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First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

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How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

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What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches?

Extra virgin oil

Why did Jared lose so much weight?

He always went for the 6 instead of the 12

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How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute?

Go to England and buy something

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.