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How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

What is the only thing that will be "Feeling the Bern"?

Working people's wallets.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Whats the German version of silent night?

Kristall nacht

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

What do a midget and a dwarf have in common?

Very little.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would they put on his coffin?

A lid!

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.