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How have you got that body?

I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?

Because the top said "Twist to open."

Boot Jokes More Boot Jokes

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

How many bodies do you have buried there?

My attempts at small talk.

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

How high are you!?

Demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.

Who drives it?

The officer.