What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

Why do you say that?

Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake and gets me up when I'm sleepy!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why don't White Elephants run?

Because they Ele-cant....Can somebody explain this to me? (Seriously, I don't get it, is it like Elegant?)

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How do you catch digital fish?

With clickbait, of course!

Who's there! Alf! Alf who?

Alf all if you don't catch me!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman that raps about woman's rights?

Feminem

What is the definition of 'making love'?

Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.