What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".

What do you call a cat sitting on the edge of a cliff?

A precipuss.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

Why is flatulence more satisfying after a long struggle to push it out?

Because you know you made a real ef-**fart**

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

Because pot holder was already taken -rim shot-

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What in the world is this?

The bartender says, "Central Park."

How'd ya get that?

Asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Rum Jokes More Rum Jokes

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*

Why do differentiating mathematicians prefer Manhattans to Mojitos?

Ryes over rum.