What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

Previous Random Joke Next

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

What did the diver say to the oyster?

I want that pearl! Don't be shellfish!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does the B in Benot B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benot B. Mandelbrot

What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after?

A one night stand with Jesus

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in strawberry patches.

How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?

Paint an endzone on it.

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen?

Because it has microwaves