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What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between wife and a blue whale?

About 10 pounds.

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing?

To get some fresh air

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple.

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."

What do "white privilege" and "severely mentally handicapped" have in common?

Both terms are almost universally misunderstood by the people to whom they apply.