What's mostly red and has 2 legs?

Half of a cat.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A cat-a-logue!

Why did the cat go to the hospital?

To have a CAT scan done.

2 Leg Jokes More 2 Leg Jokes

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has fifty legs but still can't walk?

Half a centipede.

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.