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What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)?

The lift attendants have jobs.

What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes?

He was just a nerdy digger.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard?

A pillow fight

Why did the little boy drop his icecream?

Because he got hit by a car

Sperm Jokes More Sperm Jokes

Why are condoms transparent?

So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

What is green, red and goes 90 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

Mayonnaise Jokes More Mayonnaise Jokes

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing.

What is Cole's law?

Thinly sliced cabbage with mayonnaise