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What's wrong with them?

His boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What is long, white, and very sticky?

The coming of the Lord!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren't off of work yet.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

When the bartender asks you what's in a Ryan Lochte?

Just say "I don't know, make something up"

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the sperm cross the road..?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock today....

What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What did the table fan say to his boss when he couldn't get to work on time?

Ah-so-late!

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.