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Where have you been?

He asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does Aerosmith say when someone asks them for directions?

Walk this way

What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?

Just flush it like everybody else does.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces?

Fabric softener.

Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning?

Because she has two faces.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

Why can't DJs play pool?

They always scratch.

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

Why is 17 called the "mother-in-law" in black jack?

Because you wanna hit it, but sometimes you cant.

What do you call a midget psychic that's on the run from the law?

A small medium at large.

Resist Jokes More Resist Jokes

Where have you been?

He asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."

Why can't liquids with high viscosity get insurance?

They resist Flo.