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Why couldn't Hillary win the election?

Women only win.7 votes for every one a man wins.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg?

I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments.

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

Because they were a rip off

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Where the hell did you get?

The barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.

Who won the Tour de France in 1940?

The Sixth German Panzer Division

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

What do you call a dinosaur who knows how to please its woman?

A Lickalottapus

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What did the hurricane say to Hillary?

I didn't know disasters can run for office

How's Hillary's head?

He answers, "Well, she's no Monica!"

7 Jokes More 7 Jokes

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?

He puts down the three and carries the one.

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!