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Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

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Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10?

They were trying to keep their German market.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why are all updates to Apple stuff piratical?

Because they all involve iPatches.

What is juicy on the inside, dry on the outside, and has "apple" in it?

A roasted baby with an apple in its mouth.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

Why wasn't the plastic surgeon worried about running out of breast implants anytime soon?

He had a large drawer of chests right there in his office.

How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?

A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Apple Employee Jokes More Apple Employee Jokes

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A lot, apparently. Have you seen their new building?