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Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a Senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

How many mice does it takes to screw, in a lightbulb?

Two, as always.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails?

A cruiseifixion.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What am I supposed to take tomorrow?

Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

Carpenter Wife Jokes More Carpenter Wife Jokes

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.