Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue.

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)

Why are Mistborns always so thin?

Because they're always Burning calories!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving

Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

Because they don't like to drink and derive.