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Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts

Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why is baby black?

Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?

Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.