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Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

Onions" was his dog... D:

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby?

A cry for Alp!

What's the difference between the cries of a grieving family and reggae music?

I would feel awkward dancing to reggae music.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What did the dog say after a hard day at work?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?

Heavy petting.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

D Jokes More D Jokes

How can you make your d bigger?

CAPS LOCK

What did C say to E?

She wants the D.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets?

An onion.

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!