Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out?

Time to try the udder one.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

Why did Aristotle hate French fries?

They were fried in ancient grease!

Old Man Jokes More Old Man Jokes

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

How do you find and old man in the dark?

Just feel around. It's not hard.