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Why do the Republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

Why are rubber tires black?

So the police know what to shoot at during a chase

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

2nd Jokes More 2nd Jokes

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.

Republicans Jokes More Republicans Jokes

How many Republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

None. The Democrats do that.

Why do Republicans hate math?

They were never comfortable with integration.