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How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

It's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do you tell a man with two black eyes?

Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

How do you get a person with podophobia to leave?

Just say "shoe".

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did one renewable power source say to the other?

How did I wind up here I don't know man just go with the flow.

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

Which is your favorite Monty Python Joke?

Of course, there's, but here goes mine: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped. This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why did the left shoe marry the right?

Because they were "sole"-mates

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

What do onions and people have in common?

I weep uncontrollably when I cut them.

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with?

A TACK