2nd Jokes

What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Why do the Republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord?

Two flutists playing in unison.

What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at?

Czarcasm.

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call ice cream that robs a bank?

Heist cream Got to give credit to my friend, who sadly dosent have reddit.

What did Jay Z say when his friend died?

No Biggie.

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Splat Jokes More Splat Jokes

How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?

SPLAT!!! He didn't.

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor: Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day?

None

What's the difference between me and my new couch?

The couch pulls out...

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

January 2nd Jokes More January 2nd Jokes

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

2nd Base Jokes More 2nd Base Jokes

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded.

Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair in the oven.