2nd Jokes

What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Why do the Republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord?

Two flutists playing in unison.

What is that son of yours doing these days?

2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!

What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor?

The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)

Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time?

Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.

What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at?

Czarcasm.

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?

One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!

What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?

Jesus died on the cross

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why haven't you pulled over yet?

I said, "Because we're still in Detroit."

How do you get certified as an interior decorator?

You don't pull out

Splat Jokes More Splat Jokes

How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?

SPLAT!!! He didn't.

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor: Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

April Fool Jokes More April Fool Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes?

Prankenstein!

Medical School Jokes More Medical School Jokes

What do you call a fish who went to medical school?

A sTurgeon

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

Because it was raining cats and dogs.

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."

What do you call your friend Splee at a soiree?

A PARTY SPLUNGE!