Affect Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

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How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Why does black lives matter affect the postal service?

They have white mail privilege.

What country's citizens are most affected by global warming?

South Koreans

What do you call a disaster that only affected shopping malls?

A catashopic.

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck

What do you call a virus that affects the command line?

Terminal Illness

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

What do you call a virus that affects your command-line?

A Terminal Illness.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Brainer Jokes More Brainer Jokes

What do you call a person with no brain?

A no-brainer

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring?

They conducted an in-turtle investigation.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby?

A cry for Alp!

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts?

Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

Black Life Matter Jokes More Black Life Matter Jokes

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage?

BBC

Bola Jokes More Bola Jokes

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

Virus Jokes More Virus Jokes

What common trait do viruses, trojan horses and worms have in common?

They are all INSECURE.

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Item Jokes More Item Jokes

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck