Baguette Jokes

How do they package bread at the bakery?

They baguette.

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Why was the baguette excited for his audition?

He heard he might be playing a big roll

What's the policy at French morgues?

Baguette and tag it.

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Bakery Jokes More Bakery Jokes

Why should you never invest in bakeries?

Because they have a high turnover rate.

What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread?

A bakery.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why couldn't the computer play golf?

Because it had the wrong Driver

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Policy Jokes More Policy Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

Anything you want. He can't hear you.

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

The p is silent.

Audition Jokes More Audition Jokes

What's the worst advice you could give an actor right before an audition?

Just go in there and be yourself.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

French Jokes More French Jokes

How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners?

Mercy!

Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

Gluten Tag Jokes More Gluten Tag Jokes

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten Tag