Package Jokes

How do they package bread at the bakery?

They baguette.

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What did the redditor say when he opened his package from the UniBomber?

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up

How much for this melted ghost?

Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys

Who's there! Amelia! Amelia who?

Amelia a package last week - did you get it!

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble?

Because it was a wrapped scallion.

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Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What does the guy who has been backpacking just a bit too long miss most about home?

A home-cooked shower.

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you do when you want to hold a bunny?

You grabbit.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

What kind of bread always goes wrong?

A rye

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

Chimney Jokes More Chimney Jokes

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

Melt Jokes More Melt Jokes

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

Bed Sheet Jokes More Bed Sheet Jokes

How much for this melted ghost?

Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys

What do you call a beetle in the bed sheets?

John Linen

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull