Ill Eagle Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to hunt the US national bird?

It's ill-eagle

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What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Why did the sick bird get deported?

He was an ill eagle.

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Why can't ducks tell jokes when they fly?

Cause they would quack up.

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

Enter Jokes More Enter Jokes

How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb?

Tut-an-kham-en

What do you get when you enter a cow into the Kentucky Derby?

Milk and Bookies.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

What do you call a posh shop that sells kitchen appliances?

Selfridges.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the calculus students get arrested?

For drinking and deriving.

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

Hunt Jokes More Hunt Jokes

Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting?

I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit.

Why do Ethiopians have fly swatters?

To hunt for their food.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?

Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?

A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree!

Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road?

To get to the Otherside!

Refer Jokes More Refer Jokes

How does one refer to intentionally harming the national bird of the U.S?

It's an ill-eagle activity

How do Japanese people refer to American politicians?

Parti-san