North of the Wal-Mart
He desperately needed Apu.
Because it's wal-mart.
Pregnancy tests
A Hoodie.
Ginger ale.
Because there are too many Targets
Because there's a Target on every corner
Hey, this looks new!
Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.
Thank you, Karma gain
Because they won't stop to ask directions.
Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
Because it's too cold out-tide.
Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH.
A turban legend
We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.