Regulate Jokes

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.

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What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers?

The Elf and Saftey Executive.

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

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Carl Sagan Jokes More Carl Sagan Jokes

What was Carl Sagan's favorite drink?

Cosmos.

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Senate Jokes More Senate Jokes

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a Senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Why was little Billy so sad when his friends played on the swingset?

He had no arms. Sorry that joke was stupid, let me try again. Knock Knock "Whose there?" Not Billy

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What does a musician train do when running from the law?

Covers tracks

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Gulag to you too.

Why did the Soviets implement 5 year plans instead of 4 year plans?

Cuz they were stalin'!

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Where does Santa keep his nuts?

In his nutsack...

What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic!

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

How many guns do I have left?

That's right. 10.

What gun does Jesus hate the most?

The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast