Wilderness Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

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What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

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Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Why are you studying your Easter candy?

I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What did you do before you were married sir?

*with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do...

Why is heaven a paradise for the common man?

Because all the politicians are in hell.

David Bowie Jokes More David Bowie Jokes

What did Alan Rickman say as he stood over David Bowie's grave?

Mind if I Slytherin

Who's there? Alan Rickman and David Bowie. Alan Rickman and David Bowie who?

Alan Rickman and David Bowie have both died recently.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is better than getting a N64 on Christmas?

Getting a N64 now

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

Actor Jokes More Actor Jokes

What's the worst advice you could give an actor right before an audition?

Just go in there and be yourself.

What do you give an actor playing the role of an angry street gang member?

Mad props...