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How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?

Russel.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player?

Ask them if they play league.

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

House Jokes More House Jokes

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house?

She didn't, it was just an Aleutian.

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?

They're all, like, equal to me...

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside?

An un-in.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!