How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone?

Because she's dead.

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

What does a rock do all day?

Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)

Big Rock Jokes More Big Rock Jokes

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.