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How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

Whats the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only two more sleeps until Christmas.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call and Irishman who works in a French cafe?

Paddy Hor D'oeuvre

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What kind of bird does not make babies?

A swallow

What is the difference between a baby and a onion?

No one cries when you chop up the baby.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What did the Queen fans say at the stoning?

We will We will Rock you!

Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.

Big Rock Jokes More Big Rock Jokes

How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?