How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

This joke may have profanity.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean Beef

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch?

Namaste

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What does a bee get at McDonalds?

A humburger!

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

What did the bra say to the top hat?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.