How does a chef ask to leave the dinner...

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?

She left a plunger in the toilet

What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while

How does R. Kelly respond when girls ask for a rating on a ten scale?

Urinate

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.

What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common?

They both work in gastronomy

Dinner Table Jokes More Dinner Table Jokes

How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table?

He says, "Gourmet I be excused?"

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

Gourmet Jokes More Gourmet Jokes

Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu?

The prices were gastronomical...

How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table?

He says, "Gourmet I be excused?"