How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

How should a feudal lord deal with it when the serfs rise up?

Hang ten.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What do you call someone who raises poultry?

A chicken tender.

How can you tell the difference between normal and self-raising flour?

One has parents

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Why was the baker happy when his pie caught fire in the oven?

He was a pieromaniac.

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

How do you hear a hormone?

Pay $100 for 30 minutes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Inject Jokes More Inject Jokes

What is a drug?

A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper.

What do you get when you inject a goat with human DNA?

A ban from the petting zoo.

Yeast Jokes More Yeast Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?