What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

Both looking for a tight seal.

What do you call an engineer who looks at other people's shoes when walking?

Extroverted

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?

Queen Kong.

What's the difference between my wife and the dress?

The dress is white and gold

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

Mayonnaise Jokes More Mayonnaise Jokes

What do you call a jar of mayonnaise stuck in quicksand?

Sinko de mayo

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Fridge Door Jokes More Fridge Door Jokes

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing.

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it?

Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.