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What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

What's wrong?

3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What's the difference between blue paint and red paint?

The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What's your best pick up line?

Cocaine Edit:spelling

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

Preschool Jokes More Preschool Jokes

What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp?

Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!

Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp?

I don't know man. I just fly the drones.