What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do you call a shoe with no grip?

A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What do old people with Alzheimer's often say?

I don't remember.

What did you choose?

Guy: I don't remember.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from?

Me

Why can't Albert Einstein drive?

Because he never learned.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

How do you help a lemon?

Lemon-aid.

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun. You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun Edit: My 5 year old nephew loves this joke.

Kindergarten Jokes More Kindergarten Jokes

What animal runs around happily with 5 legs?

A pit bull in a kindergarten

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Doughnut Jokes More Doughnut Jokes

What does a doughnut have in common with a nut?

They dough nut have anything in common.

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.